I have had a really great year creatively, and when I look back at all of the paintings that I completed this year, I am really happy. I can say that this has not always been the case. So I starting thinking about things…

Am I happier now because in general, I am older and more confident with myself? In years past, it has been really easy to get caught up in social media, “look what they have” type scenarios, or their work gets more engagement than my work..you know the feeling.

Am I happier because I have this painting journal that is allowing me to explicatly remember how I was feeling at the time of each painting? Or, am I happy because I am actually achieving goals in each painting that I set out to do? I think it is all of these things.

There is an air of confidence that happens when we get older. I am settled into my age, my skin, my accomplishments.. In general, I feel pretty good. I create with the understanding, “this is just paint”, which, with practice, has given me the assurance that if anything takes a wrong turn, I can correct it and also recognize, “I’m just not finished yet.”

Since I can flip through this journal and instantly be brought back to the time when I made each painting, is it simply easier for me to remember that I am happier? I have all of the memories in the palm of my hand this way.. I think that sometimes it is easier to remember the negative rather than the positive, so the journal does help a lot.

I am just about to begin my 14th year of teaching abstract painting online. In the beginning, I felt a little nervous opening up to all of the students in my teaching network.. I felt like I might not be able to offer the constructive criticism or guidance that they might need. Those “nerves” are totally gone by now and I am thrilled to be doing what I have been doing for so long. 14 years at any job is a really long time.. I feel good.

I’m not done with 2022 yet…but I am excited and super ready for 2023! Thank you for stopping by today. 🧡

Here I am in 2022..